The Pigskin PressLumberjacks chop down another one
148.2 points, a 41-point win, and the only lineup in the league with zero bench regrets. Dana is no longer a fantasy manager. Dana is a weather event.
Sample edition
Sample edition: The Lake Effect League, week 7
Sample edition
This is what a week of Pigskin Press looks like. The league and every team in it are made up; your league's edition is written from your real Sleeper or ESPN scores, lineups and benches.
The Lake Effect League · Week 7 · 10 teams · half-PPR
Front page: Lumberjacks chop down another one, Bench Warmers fall to 0-7
The Lakeshore Lumberjacks put up the week's high score for the third time this season and moved to 6-1. At the other end of the table, Bench Warmers Anonymous left 47.6 points on the bench in a 9-point loss. The fix was sitting right there.
The roast
Bench Warmers live up to the name
Riley started a kicker on bye and left 47.6 points on the bench, including a 31-point running back who was, and we cannot stress this enough, available to start. 0-7. The Sacko has started measuring for the onesie.
Fourth & Wrong goes for it, again
Marcus traded for a wide receiver on Wednesday who then caught two passes for nine yards on Sunday. The process was bold. The result was a 1-point loss.
Tua Legit, Tua Quit, Tua Many Points Allowed
Taylor's team scored 88.1 against the second-lowest opponent score of the week and still lost by 4. That's not bad luck. That's a lifestyle.
Power rankings
Built only from this season's results: all-play win rate, points per game, the last three weeks and actual record.
| # | Team | Score | Move |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Lakeshore Lumberjacks | 94.2 | – |
| 2 | Kelce Grammer | 86.7 | ▲1 |
| 3 | Fourth & Wrong | 80.3 | ▲2 |
| 4 | The Waiver Wire Wizards | 74.9 | ▲3 |
| 5 | Bijan Mustard | 71.0 | ▼2 |
| 6 | Ja'Marr the Merrier | 62.4 | – |
| 7 | Purdy Little Liars | 55.1 | ▼1 |
| 8 | Hurts Donut | 49.8 | ▲1 |
| 9 | Tua Legit Tua Quit | 40.6 | ▼1 |
| 10 | Bench Warmers Anonymous | 21.3 | – |
Standings, with all-play
All-play is every team against every other team, every week. It shows who has been good and who has been lucky.
| # | Team | Record | Points for | All-play |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Lakeshore Lumberjacks | 6-1 | 861.4 | 52-11 |
| 2 | Kelce Grammer | 5-2 | 842.9 | 47-16 |
| 3 | Bijan Mustard | 5-2 | 790.2 | 35-28 |
| 4 | Fourth & Wrong | 4-3 | 812.6 | 41-22 |
| 5 | Ja'Marr the Merrier | 4-3 | 768.0 | 30-33 |
| 6 | The Waiver Wire Wizards | 3-4 | 801.7 | 39-24 |
| 7 | Purdy Little Liars | 3-4 | 744.3 | 24-39 |
| 8 | Hurts Donut | 3-4 | 731.9 | 22-41 |
| 9 | Tua Legit Tua Quit | 2-5 | 705.2 | 17-46 |
| 10 | Bench Warmers Anonymous | 0-7 | 688.5 | 8-55 |
Unluckiest: The Waiver Wire Wizards are 3-4 with the fourth-best all-play record in the league.
Lumberjacks are 97% to make it
10,000 simulations of the last seven weeks: Lakeshore Lumberjacks 97%, Kelce Grammer 88%, Bijan Mustard 61%, Fourth & Wrong 58%. Bench Warmers Anonymous make the playoffs in 0.4% of them.
Wizards would be 5-2 on Hurts Donut's schedule
Same weekly scores, different opponents. The Waiver Wire Wizards have the toughest schedule so far: opponents have scored 11.2 more points per game than the league average against them.
Week 7 awards
Top Dog: Lakeshore Lumberjacks, 148.2. Basement: Bench Warmers Anonymous, 79.4. Heartbreaker: Fourth & Wrong lost by 1.1. Luckiest win: Hurts Donut won with 96.3.
A blockbuster and a $41 claim
Fourth & Wrong send a 2027 1st and a running back to Purdy Little Liars for a WR1. On the wire, The Waiver Wire Wizards spent $41 of their FAAB on a backup running back whose starter went on IR.
On the clock: Bench Warmers Anonymous
Last place takes the SAT in a full team onesie. Three games back with seven to play.
The 19 Club
Closest player score to 19 without going over: Ja'Marr the Merrier's wide receiver at 18.8. Purdy Little Liars's 19.3 went over and is still under review by the commissioner.
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